


We're all mad here

by IrrationallyExcited



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barrisco - Freeform, F/F, High School AU, M/M, Mental Illness, OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, PPD, Paranoid Personality Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, highschool barrisco, highschool snowwest, snowwest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8775664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrrationallyExcited/pseuds/IrrationallyExcited
Summary: Barry has been through a lot, but he knows he's NOT crazy. No matter how many people tell him; doctors, therapists, councillors, teachers, his foster-father, not even the bullies could convince him.Then he meets Cisco... and for once he feels like maybe being normal isn't important. If it means he gets to spend more time around the adorable boy with the lopsided grin, then maybe he doesn't really mind pretending anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Destiel__winchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel__winchester/gifts).



> This is dedicated to the lovely Shannon (Destiel__Winchester) Because she is awesome and gifted me an adorable fic not long ago. ((okay maybe it was quite a long time ago, I'm sorry it took me so long to post this aghh, but I hope you like it!!)) You should totally go read her stuff because she is an amazing writer! (I wish I knew how to link the fic she dedicated to me, it's called Their language and the link is: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8691850/chapters/19927294
> 
> Yes, I decided to include some Caitlin/Iris romance in this because... why not? I ship it and it would be adorable!! Snowwest!
> 
> Also be warned, I am notorious for failing spectacularly at multi-chapter fics, but I have HIGH HOPES, fingers crossed I don't give up!

Shuffling nervously into the empty meeting room, Barry takes a moment to breathe, run a hand through his messy hair, and take in his surroundings. There's at least twenty chairs here, arranged in a circle and all still empty as of yet. Somehow the amount of seats surprises Barry, he never even thought about just how many people in Central City could be messed up in the head like him. He always thought he was just alone, and realistically he still is. No matter how many people may think they understand him, he knows that there's no way anyone could imagine what Barry Allen has been through.

Figuring he may as well get comfortable, he dumps his bag in the corner out of the way and heads towards the nearest chair, barely paying attention to where it is. He's so distracted, in fact; that he doesn't realise he's not alone anymore until a flat voice interrupts his movement.

"I wouldn't sit there if I was you."

Startling Barry out of his thoughts , the other boy manages to stop him in his tracks before he can even move to sit down. Slowly, he looks up at the only other person in the room with him, "What? Why not?"

"That's my spot, you see it's not directly opposite the door or window which limits distractions, and it's at just the right angle to the counsellor's seat that I don't feel any unwanted attention but my view isn't distorted... I'm going to shut up now." He looks bashful at his rambling, hiding a faint blush behind his long, dark hair and quirking his eyebrows awkwardly. 

Taking a moment to memorise the boy's breathtaking features but vulnerable frown, Barry steps back and shifts his feet under him, fighting desperately against his panicking thoughts and racing pulse. _Act normal you idiot, you just got here._

"Oh okay," Pointing to the next chair over as Cisco sits down, Barry coughs a second time to hide the nervous lump he can feel tugging his throat; "what about that one? Am I allowed to sit there?"

"Duh, of course you can, it's a free country." He rolls his eyes playfully and nods up at Barry, oblivious to the lingering tension from his outburst.

Taking the seat wordlessly, he lets out a light chuckle, desperate to break the quiet- although the silence isn't awkward really, just unnerving.

"Okay... so uh, what brings you here?" _Oh no, dumb question, dumb question. Bad bad Barry._

Luckily, Cisco doesn't seem phased or offended by it- or at least doesn't show it, "well, mostly OCD, which you probably guessed by the chair thing, sorry, also mild PPD- paranoid personality disorder."

Barry's eyes widen briefly, surprised at both the other boy's openness and his nonchalance, and he doesn’t get a moment to reply before he’s interrupted.

"For a while they thought I had Schizoid Personality Disorder but that was a misdiagnosis. What about you?" He asks, glancing around the room briefly as if looking for someone.

"Oh, uh what?" Panicking, his mind goes completely blank, and he barely registers the voice as Cisco clarifies;

"What brings you to the loony bin?" 

Blinking quickly, Barry purposefully holds his hands still in his lap. His eyes scan the room as if looking for a reason to run and hide, and he takes a deep breath, struggling to find a way to explain his 'issues.'

Finally he gives up, hoping that the boy won't take offence if he refuses to answer; "It's uh, complicated? I had to leave my old school because of some... things. And now I have to come to these meetings every week." 

Thankfully, Cisco doesn't seem bothered by the vague answer, just nodding in understanding. It's an odd feeling, he's used to pitying frowns and uncomfortable glances, but never has anyone even seemed close to understanding what Barry is talking about- from the obsessive love of science to the 'issues' he apparently has.

_Huh, maybe Dr Sloane was right, maybe this group could actually be good for me… even though I'm not crazy._

The high pitched creak of the door opening broke both of the boys out of their thoughts, and Cisco perked up considerably as soon as he looked over at the girl who had just walked in. She had shoulder-length mousy brown hair and a noticeably sullen look on her face. Her clothes were pretty simple, not what you’d expect a girl her age to be wearing on a Saturday, just plain jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. Then again- who’s really going to care what she looks like here?

“Hi Caitlin, how’re you feeling?” Cisco asks immediately, momentarily forgetting about the stranger sitting next to him.

“I'm okay, thanks Cisco. Who’s this?” She replies, quirking an eyebrow at Barry curiously. Immediately Cisco blushes, stuttering slightly through his explanation.

“Oh God, I never asked your name, sorry dude.” He addresses the boy next to him guiltily, but Barry just shrugs and smiles slightly in response; holding a hand out to the girl stood in front of him politely,

“I'm Barry… just Barry.” He supplies with a grin that only falters slightly when he nearly blurts his surname. He knows they'd recognise him immediately if they heard the name Allen- the crazy son of Henry Allen; the even crazier doctor who stabbed his wife for no reason.

But Barry knows he's not crazy, and his father did not stab Nora. It was someone else... something else.

Of course he would never go out of his way to hide his father’s identity, he’s not ashamed of him or what he’s been accused of, but he knows all too well what can happen if he accidentally lets the wrong people know at the wrong times. He wouldn’t even be here if he’d learnt that lesson a year sooner, but he can't change that now.

“Well I'm Caitlin, and this is Cisco. It’s nice to meet you Barry.” The other girl replies, and even beneath her tired eyes and sullen features she manages a genuine smile.

The three teenagers sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, with Cisco and Caitlin occasionally speaking up to mention different things from their previous weeks, while Barry fidgets under the curious and calculating glances from the steady stream of people walking into the room.

Absently, Barry can't help but observe Cisco's nervous glances at the door every few seconds. He can tell Caitlin is aware of it too, but she doesn't say anything, so Barry just assumes it's a symptom of his Paranoid Disorder or OCD. 

Finally the stilted conversation is drawn to a conclusion, as a tall and slightly odd looking counsellor walks in. Immediately he commands the attention of the room and Cisco visibly relaxes. Caitlin pauses momentarily, a hand squeezing her friend's knee almost out of habit, before standing and moving to sit in another seat across the circle, with a polite wave to Barry.

Greeting the group as a whole, Dr Wells first reminds everyone why they're here today 'to support each other and share our journey as we all navigate our paths through difficult lives,' before turning to Barry and smiling widely at him.

"Some of you may be aware that we have a new addition to the group today, would you like to introduce yourself Barry?" The cautiously encouraging tone that Wells uses makes Barry feel the need to swallow past the lump in his throat, and wave a shaky hand.

"Uh, hi everyone. I'm Barry and I'm here because some things happened in the last few years, bad things, and I'm finally ready to get the help I need and move on with my life. I'm starting school at Central City North this week, and I think it's gonna be okay." A hum of appreciation spreads through the room, and a few people nod while others smile warmly. Waiting for everyone to quiet down again, Wells changes the subject, introducing a vague discussion topic and briefly introducing it, before waving the group off to 'brainstorm' with their peers.

Before Barry can start to feel like a lost puppy with no friends, Cisco nudges him to catch his attention;

"Hey, You didn't mention you were coming to Central North. That's where Caitlin and I go!" He explains enthusiastically, an easy grin overtakes his features and Barry instinctively mirrors the expression, forgetting about whatever they were supposed to be talking about;

"Oh, cool- I used to go to Central West, so I'm not really sure what to expect if I'm honest. Is it a good school?" He asks shyly, not really sure if bringing up his old school is the best idea. _What if he figures out what happened to me? What if he decides he hates me before we've even had a whole conversation?_

Luckily his worries quickly vanish, as Cisco laughs suddenly, "oh yeah, if you went to West then you're gonna love it at North. We have actual science labs, and teachers that aren't drug dealers or psychopaths. No offence to psychopaths or anything." He rambles, the tips of his ears turning slightly red with his enthusiasm, peeking out from under his curtain of hair adorably. Butterflies flood Barry's stomach as that thought crosses his mind, and he forces himself to look away from Cisco's cute ears. _Stop being strange Barry, you've just met this guy for god's sake._

"I am really excited, honestly. I know it's lame, but I've always wanted to study forensic science, and I can finally take classes on it at North. Also, my sister goes there, so it'll be nice to be at the same school as her, she's really great." He explains, blabbering just as much as Cisco did earlier.

"Science nerd, I like it! Engineering is more my thing, I'm finally going to start robotics this year. It's cool that you and your sister are close, I have an older brother but we don't like each other much, he's a self-entitled ass and he thinks I'm an attention seeking loser." He's laughing, but somehow Barry can sense he's not completely comfortable, and begins to change the subject, but Wells interrupts them before he even gets the chance to speak.

The rest of group is pretty boring after that- just what Barry had expected. He sits through it though, reminding himself why he's there. _If I let him think I'm getting better, Joe might finally let me see my dad._

When they were finally dismissed with a wave from Dr Wells, Barry expected Cisco to be among the stampede at the exit, but instead he stayed where he was. Unsure, Barry glanced at Caitlin, and she was just beginning to make her way over to them.

With a shaky smile, she explained that she had to meet her mom to go school shopping. Rolling his eyes knowingly, Cisco stood up and  gently hugged his friend, squeezing her waist tightly for a moment and stepping back with a blush. Once again waving to Barry, she turned toward the door, only pausing before leaving the room to look back and call out a quick "See you tomorrow Cisco, and you too Barry- I hope!"

After Caitlin left, Cisco didn't say anything else, just slowly gathering his stuff and triple-checking his phone, probably waiting for his dad or someone to let him know they'd arrived to pick him up. Finally glancing at his own phone, Barry saw a text from Iris telling him she was outside, so he picked up his bag and hurried out of the room, calling out "bye Cisco" softly into the silence- already knowing not to expect a reply.

Outside the small community centre, he took a moment to adjust to the bright sunlight and locates Iris leaning against the pale wall, balancing a bike either side of her- with her own pastel blue one to her left and Barry's plain black one to her right.

Gratefully, Barry smiles at his foster sister and accepts the helmet from her outstretched hand, laughing conspiratorially at her muttered excuse, "Joe made me bring these."

As soon as they're out on the open (dirt path) road, Barry feels the cool breeze whipping his face- stinging just enough to cool him down but not painfully. With an excited yelp, Iris speeds up, easily passing Barry, and gracefully glides down a dip in the path, her dark hair streaming behind her even with the helmet on her head.

The late summer sun filters through the trees, and Barry can't help but wish he could slow down time and make this moment last forever, before he has to face the nerves and insecurity of a new year and a new school. _Tomorrow_ , he reminds himself with a jolt. _School starts tomorrow._

Grudgingly, Barry slows down as they reach the back entrance to their garden- with the old gate that leads straight into the woodland. He remembers using the secret entrance to visit Iris when they were younger and his family was still whole, living just down the street. He remembers when he was twelve and tried to escape and sneak to the prison through this gate, and later on at thirteen planning to run away for good. 

For some reason, he feels himself having to resist the urge to speed off and hide from everything. If he just left, he could pretend that his summer had lasted forever, without bullies at school to worry about real life being there to constantly remind him what he had lost.

But unfortunately, he can't just run away and forget about his life, he has to live it- and he plans to endure every painful moment until he can finally escape this awful City Suburb.

One day he'll get away, but for now he just has to get through sophomore year... and at least now he'll have Iris to keep him company... and mostly sane.

^-^


	2. Chapter 2

Ear-splitting shrieks fill the silence, jolting him violently out of his peaceful sleep. Realising it was his all too familiar six AM alarm, he couldn't hold back the dramatic groan. 

_It's official,_ he thinks bitterly, _summer is over._

The feeling of rushing around to get dressed, throwing his school supplies together and yelling at Iris through the bathroom door is almost like deja vu. Not to mention the steadily growing ball of dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

He could barely force down a few mouthfuls of cereal, laughing quietly at Iris' endless supply of complaints. He was so used to this routine that he almost forgot about the change in destination. The only difference is that now he isn't running to catch the bus alone, but instead sitting in Joe's police car waiting for Iris to hurry up and leave the house.

Ever since she first started Freshman year, Joe has insisted on taking Iris to school in the police cruiser. He claimed that it was a warning to any boys that got ideas, but really he just wants the excuse to see her every morning without his hectic work schedule getting in the way. Being a single parent is hard, a lot harder than either teenager can imagine, not to mention how difficult it was when Barry first started living with them.

Anyway, something tells him it isn't going to be _boys_ he has to worry about with Iris, even if she doesn't know it herself yet...

 

^-^

 

By the time they finally reach the school, Barry's stomach is in knots and he feels slightly ill with the thought of leaving the car. Glancing out of the window, he sees the crowds of students milling around the busy courtyard. He notices immediately that these people are a lot less rowdy than the ones he was used to at Central West, but decides that maybe he's just seeing what he wants to see.

For a moment he just takes a few deep breaths, willing away the imminent panic. Looking over at Iris's seat, he realises she's already leant over to give Joe a kiss on the cheek and stepped out of the car.

Just like with everything she does, her movements are graceful and confident. Her expertly planned first-day outfit, meticulously styled hair and flawless makeup draws attention from all around. Not to mention the police car she's just stepped out of.

Barry knew Iris had a lot of friends at school, it was hard to ignore the constant revolving door of guests in her room, but he never imagined she'd be _this_ popular. About five different people Barry could hardly recognise all rushed towards her, greeting her animatedly and complimenting her clothes.

She had paired her favourite white skinny jeans with a navy blue t-shirt and black jacket. Barry remembered her dragging him all around town at various points in the summer to find those leather platform converse and that Black & White checkered rucksack, but he had to admit she _did_ look like 'the perfect mix of causal and stylish.' (Her words, not his.) He was so distracted watching her interact with all of her friends- completely in her element, that it took Joe two attempts to catch his attention;

"You getting out anytime soon, Bear?"

Hiding his embarrassed flush, Barry just hummed quietly, fiddling with the strap on his own rucksack thoughtfully. Finally, he sighed and looked out the window again, observing the small crowd next to the car gradually dispersing.

"I just need a minute, I'm nervous." He admits, expecting Joe to laugh at him for being childish, but instead he just smiled sadly.

"It's okay Barry, you'll be fine. Take as long as you need." He comforts him, with pity in his voice. Barry knows he's just trying to make him feel better, but he can't help but sense that patronising tone.

He bristles. Stiffly grabbing his bag, he shoves the door open and hops out. Barely glancing back he mutters a 'bye' in Joe's direction, ignoring the reply. He _may_ have shut the door with slightly more force than strictly necessary, but it's understandable considering everything else on his mind.

If there's one thing Barry _hates_ , it's being treated like a child. He's _not_ a child, and he's _not_ crazy. How many times does he have to tell people that? _Especially_ Joe.

Thanks to his dawdling, Iris had already wandered off with the group of girls. This left him alone and slightly terrified, unsurprisingly.

Deciding he should probably do something other than stand frozen like a lost puppy, he swung his backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, grabbing the schedule and map he'd printed a few weeks ago. In just a few minutes he managed to figure out where he was supposed to go for homeroom, luckily one of the buildings closest to him.

The entire school is made up of four buildings, the Science block, the Humanities block, the Arts block and the Original School. Iris had tried her best to explain how everything worked, and he was pretty sure he remembered almost half of it... maybe. People refer to each building by letter; S for Science, A for Arts and so on, and all of the subjects are grouped in their respective buildings, which only helps slightly. It looks like Barry's homeroom class is situated in the Arts building, at the front of the campus right next to the Science block. At least the building he knew he would be spending most of his time in wasn't too far, a small miracle compared the mile-long staircases and alleyways he had to navigate at West.

 

^-^

 

Waiting outside his homeroom class, he was standing alone for approximately five seconds before someone swooped in and introduced herself.

"Hi! I'm Kara, are you new here?" The girl greeted excitedly, and Barry thought she could've easily blinded him with her wide smile if that were possible.

Nodding quickly, he blinks a few times, wrestling with his sudden nerves and scrambling for something to say. Luckily, he doesn't have to worry about the silence for long, as Kara easily picked up where her question left off. 

"I joined halfway through last year, actually I only moved here a few months ago. I'm from... far away I guess. It's nice to meet you!" She has an eager optimism about her, like a newborn puppy, and the way she changes subjects makes Barry dizzy.

"It's nice to meet you too, I'm Barry. Where are you from?" He asks politely, already sensing that he's gonna get along well with Kara.

"Uhm... nowhere important. I got adopted by the Danvers family, I don't really like to talk about it. What about you? Did you move here recently, or did you just move schools for some reason?" She dodges the question cautiously, and Barry can't help but feel impressed. The art of refusing to talk about things is one he's taken years to master, and she seems pretty great at it from what he can tell.

"I moved schools, I had a hard time last year, so I transferred here. My sister goes here too." He doesn't know why he feels he could trust this girl with this information, but he just does.

"Oh, me too. The sister thing, she's in the grade above, but I totally understand the feeling of being bullied. People here aren't exactly the nicest to me. It sucks, but my sister tries to help when she can." She babbles, ducking beneath a perfectly timed spitball that whizzes past Barry's ear. For a moment he considers turning around and glaring at the group of laughing Neanderthals, but decides to just keep his head down and try to avoid a repeat of last year.

"Woah, nice reflexes."

"Huh, thanks. That was lucky I guess."

"Yeah, so what do you like to do?"

Kara lights up like a Christmas tree, immediately directing Barry to her nearby locker and showing him the inside of the door eagerly, "as you can see I'm very good at decorating lockers, I'm sure you'll get your own soon and I can help you with it! I love loads of different things, Social studies, Geography, History- ooh I'm doing a home economics Catering class this year, I love food. I also really like English, I've already finished the reading list for this year, not a lot of variety. All of the authors are men, it doesn't make any sense. Do you think it makes sense? My sister Alex says it's because we live in a society of sexist pigs, but I think she may just be getting confused with George Orwell's Animal Farm, there aren't  any farmyard animals in our government nowadays... I don't think." She rambles, barely pausing long enough to take a breath. _Impressive._

Barry just grins wordlessly, enthralled by her childish excitement and erratic train of thought- usually he's the one who can't fit his words in his mouth in the right order or at the right pace. It's a nice change, to be on the receiving end of that word-vomit, and she's genuinely interesting- not to mention _hilariously_ quirky.

He thinks he can really grow to adore this girl... she's great.

"Sorry, I'm doing the thing again where I forget to stop talking. I can tell by your face, sorry if I'm boring you. I just get excited sometimes."

"Oh no, I'm not bored at all. Trust me, I can talk a lot too." He reassures her, grinning kindly.

"I guess you missed half of that, I was talking pretty fast. It wasn't important anyway."

"Oh, no I heard every word, speed has never really been an issue for me. And I promise everything you said was important."

Slowly, the blonde's nervous grimace morphed into a hesitant smile, and she paused for a moment before offering her hand to Barry. Taking the odd gesture in his stride, he returns the handshake, grinning back at the girl just as brightly.

"I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Barry Allen."

"I couldn't agree more, Kara Danvers."

 

^-^

 

It wasn't until later that his thoughts finally voiced the reason for the uneasy feeling in his stomach after that interaction:

_How did she know my last name?_

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought in the comments, constructive criticism is always appreciated! Also let me know if I made any mistakes, (grammar, plotholes etc... I'm awful at proofreading and I wrote this on my phone- also I have no friends willing to beta for me XD *hint*hint*)
> 
> Bye!!  
> -Jane ^-^


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